I bumped up my treatment yesterday, thinking I was ready to handle more of the light. I am starting to doubt that after Annika kept me awake most of the night and today was extremely difficult. I have had a bad headache all day combined with body aches, fatigue and just a very low coping tolerance. Days like this are harder because of course the girls decide to test me more than ever. I try to take into consideration that they also have bumped up their treatment and are feeling the effects, but it's hard not to feel like they are purposely trying to drive me crazy!
My Lyme consultant told me that at this point lots of things would be trial and error. She wasn't kidding. Today we attempted the optimum treatment which means using the light in the morning and at night. The night session left me agitated and restless and the girls got all hyped up and wired. I think someone slipped them each a double espresso somehow! It took both myself and Grandpa quite a while to settle them and get them to sleep. So tonight's lesson is: rifing right before bed is not a good idea. I guess tomorrow I will try to use the light earlier in the morning and do the second session right before dinner.
Oh Lord, please give me wisdom to know how to do this best. This process is not getting any easier yet. I ask for help to persevere even when it feels like everything is falling apart.
Hear my cry, O God;
listen to my prayer.
listen to my prayer.
From the ends of the earth I call to you,
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
I call as my heart grows faint;
lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
For you have been my refuge,
a strong tower against the foe.
I long to dwell in your tent forever
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings
and take refuge in the shelter of your wings
Ps. 61:1-4
Amen
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