Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The River Jordan

AARRRGG!!!  I had a post almost completed that I have been writing and editing for about a month now and I just erased it all!  I guess I was not supposed to write about that topic just yet. Sigh.

I am getting really bad about blogging again.  I keep falling into the trap of trying to write down some of the deeper subjects that I am grappling with in my heart and mind.  When I am not able to articulate exactly what I want to convey, I close it to "finish later."  I guess by my lack of posts, it is obvious how many of those I have managed to complete.  In my defense I had one almost ready.....but then somehow deleted it.  Meanwhile, the drafts folder is full of unfinished ideas.

So I guess instead of tackling a serious issue, I should just journal a little about where I am.  The answer is: not where I want to be, but I am trying to be at peace about that.  It is still a constant battle to find the right combination of treatments and to know which co-infection to be treating more than others and to know when a treatment is more important and when a nap will do more good.  I guess it all goes back to my theme: I am asking for wisdom with every step!

A while ago it seemed like we just were not hitting on the right combo and I was feeling very discouraged.  The Lord used an unlikely and unexpected source to minister to me: the girl's Bible story books.  They had asked for the story of Little Maid - which is the story of Naaman.  When we got to the part about him dipping in the river Jordan 7 times, it hit me.  The Lord gently reminded me "just keep dipping."  The Lord obviously could have healed Naaman without the river, or on any number of "dips." or in any way He chose.  But He chose 7 dips into the river Jordan.  The Lord's healing work in our lives is not about us, it is about His glory. 

So however and whenever He chooses to heal me, I have to rest in the knowledge that it is all for His glory and He knows best.  So meanwhile, I keep on trying different options and trusting the Lord to work it all out.

 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[ neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,  neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8:37-39